From Mr. Paine to Mr. Jefferson
ON THE OCCASION OF A TOAST BEING GIVEN AT A FEDERAL DINNER AT
WASHINGTON, OF “MAY THEY NEVER KNOW PLEASURE WHO LOVE PAINE.”
I SEND you, Sir, a tale about some Feds,
Who, in their wisdom got to loggerheads.
The case was this, they felt so flat and sunk,
They took a glass together and got drunk.
Such things, you know, are neither new nor rare,
For some will harry themselves when in despair.
It was the natal day of Washington,
And they thought a famous day for fun;
For with the learned world it is agreed,
The better day the better deed.
They talked away, and as the glass went round
They grew, in point of wisdom, more profound
For at the bottom of the bottle lies
That kind of sense we overlook when wise.
Come here’s a toast, cried one, with roar immense,
May none know pleasure who love Common Sense.
Bravo! cried some,-no, no! some others cried,
But left it to the waiter to decide.
I think, said he, the case would be more plain,
To leave out Common Sense, and put in Paine.
On this a mighty noise arose among
This drunken, bawling, senseless throng.
Some said that Common Sense was all a curse,
That making people wiser made them worse;
It learned them to be careful of their purse,
And not be laid about like babes at nurse,
Nor yet believe in stories upon trust,
Which all mankind, to be well governed must;
And that the toast was better at the first,
And he that didn’t think so might be cursed.
So on they went, till such a fray arose
As all who know what Feds are may suppose.